Wacky Packages ANS3

Recollections from the artist --

"His name is Chauncey.  He is 48 years old and unfortunately balding.  He is just going through his mid-life crisis.  He purchased a Harley and plans to impress the 25ish secretary at the widget company he works for with the cycle and his new Calvin Klein clothes.

His friends have told him that bald is beautiful, but Chauncey doesn't believe them.  In fact, some have suggested to him that perhaps its some of his other facial features that may require more attention.   No, for Chauncey its his lack of hair.  Not just on his head but also his chin and eyebrows. Poor Chauncey has always been a spotty beard grower.  A little hair here, a bald spot there but never hair for the soul patch he's dreamed of.

His friend Winston has a soul patch and gets all the ladies.  Little does Chauncey know its not the power of the soul patch, but rather that Winston has a fantastic six-figure job and is hung like a Pine-Soil bottle.

Its a terrible shame for Chauncey that at age 7, while helping mom make some of her famous cookies with Hurtsey's Kissers inside, his eyebrows were singed off.  Sadly, they never grew back.  Drawing in his eyebrows with mom's make-up brush was always a source of shame for Chauncey.

Then, one miraculous day he was in Walgreen's and saw the new Jerkson & Jerkson Bald-Aid toupee bandages.  This was right.  This would work.  Chauncey would be whole again.  He would be delusionally confident.

That's my story for this Wacky" -- Dave Gross